Jersey Shore Season 2. Revenge of the Situation

(Cue Travolta voice) "So then I was gettin a hummah from this broad I met at the faih. She was gummin the piece, really givin it the Joisey shine, when I reached down deah and she had a fucking cack! Dammit, Pauly, ya can't tell anyone. I don't need anyone thinkin' I'm queah. Ay, you wanna get shirtless and go lift?"

Who the fuck doesn't watch this show and feel bad for humanity? I actually feel good about my life when I see these no future trainwrecks being who they really are. And in some perverse way, it fascinates me. More like a scientist watching an unevolved species of ape.

Animals with little or no intelligence just know the basic tenets of life.

Eat.Sleep.Fuck.Repeat.

Is it any wonder that Ronnie made up a phrase "GTL" Gym.Tan.Laundry.

And this show has so much underlying bisexual tension just waiting to be let out. And I'm not talking about the girls either. You know that one night, the Situation, Pauly, and Ronnie are going to get wasted, get tired of fingercuffing Snooki, and are going to circle jerk each other in the hot tub while saying shit like, "Dude, its not gay, our eyes are closed." "You see the Sox last week?" "I just got this new Ed Hardy t.... t....shirt.......UAAAAGGHHH!. Oh fucking gross, they's jellyfish in the fuckin' hot tub!"

Zahia Behar causes another million women to become anorexic.

Zahia Behar, who judging by the pics is obviously not a neurosurgeon or genetic engineer, has been in the press recently because she was fucking several members of the French soccer team (they like girls?) and earning 20 thousand dollars a month doing it.

A woman will look at this and think, "God, what a trashy whore, I can't believe men would even look at her, fucking nasty bitch."

A man will look at this and think, "Raid the kids college fund, sell the Suburu, liquidate IRA, make up phony business trip story, and call travel agent."

That's the unfortunate curse that nature played on us. He made men smarter but put a dick in charge of the whole operation. My common sense tells me, "that chick is fucking worthless, and has probably spent her whole life inhaling cocks and sipping Mai Tais in Morocco." The little man tells me, "I would beat those walls in like a sledgehammer beating down sheet metal."

Jillian Michaels refuses to breed, fatties revolt.

Jillian Michaels, a fitness guru, has stated that she is going to adopt instead of giving birth because she doesn't want to fuck up her body.

Bravo.

Quite naturally, the fat and disgusting moms of the United States (to find them, check the subscriber lists of OK! Magazine) had a fucking fit. All kinds of responses poured in about how shallow she is, how great it is being a mom, and how she isn't a real woman because she doesn't have a drooling, puking, burden.

Any woman that disagrees with this choice is fat. There isn't any way around it.
Go to Walmart and spend some time there with women that don't give a fuck. They lead their failure broods around while nagging at their dead eyed, tattooed husbands while looking for Haagen Daas and the new US Weekly. They are pissed because a hot woman is using some fucking common sense and actually gives a shit. People that don't fuck up their lives will always be looked upon with scorn and ridicule by the less intelligent.

Kardashian and her ass of shame..................

How in the fuck did I miss this treasure? I want to send the executive at Forever 21 that offered Kim a plus sized modeling contract a bouquet of flowers. I would give a paycheck to have been standing by Goat Face when she got the news. Even though this is an old story, I laughed so hard, I think I cracked a rib.

Socialite and TV personality Kim Kardashian is normally excited to hear that she landed a major ad campaign — it means that her massive publicity budget is finally paying off. But word is, Kim K’s face cracked when she found out the ad campaign was for plus-sized women.

Forever 21 launched an ad campaign called Faith 21 which features Kim’s face next to clothing for “a curvier girl that loves fashion.” The line carries sizes ranging from XL to 2XL.

Kim K, who tweeted just last week about releasing a new workout DVD, is mortified:

Kim responded on her blog, saying: “I feel that this clipping from Us Magazine is a bit misleading, so I wanted to comment on it.

“I am a huge fan of Forever 21 and I’m very happy they have expanded their line to include a plus-size range, but I am not in that size category and this article makes it sound like I am! I am a curvy girl and I love my curves, but curvy and plus-sized are two very different things. I work really hard to maintain my curves while staying slim and healthy, so to be classed as a “fuller-figured woman” of extra large proportions is a little offensive.

For the record, I am a size 2, not 2XL.”

Sure you are Kim. And the Easter Bunny is real, the Catholic Church doesn't harbor pedophiles and Saddam really did have those WMDs. I don't care how much Trimspa this ditzy bitch does, she will always be fat to me.

Im embarrassed but..............

I would. Don't judge me. Blonde Asians are hot. Even Dwarvy ones that got reamed by Shawn Merriman.

Lil Wayne goes to school?

Jesus Christ, If I had a daughter that brought home a Lil Wayne CD, I'd beat her with a claw hammer and then claim it was an honor beating. Anyone that sticks up for this piece of shit is equally retarded. I am pretty happy that hes locked up. Its hilarious that all his fans are writing him and thinking he gives a shit about them. I mean, cant you tell the intellectual discourse of a man that has lyrics like these:

"Hey lil' mama it's carter the boss
And I don't like my dick sticky so wipe off that lip gloss "

I hope this piece of shit catches a shank in the joint.

I want to throw an AIDS tipped spear at Justin Bieber

What is with this fucking kid? One day I wake up and the world is normal, the next day I wake up and ITS FUCKING JUSTIN BIEBER EVERYWHERE!!!!! Jesus Christ, people are starved for no talent losers. 10 year old girls are pissing their Dora the Explorer panties over this little shit.

He isnt anything special and looks like any other rich kid at the soccer field, skatepark, basketball court (the nice ones in his subdivisions, I dont really think he knows any blacks but Usher). I'm really digging this photo of him in his non scuffed Vans and untouched skateboard. "Cmon Justin, look like a badass for the camera, you just looped a full pipe at the X games bro, so extreme."

And now, hell has come full circle because Kim Kardashian is now twittering this fucking dolt. That's like The Situation writing to Miley Cyrus. It just doesn't sit well in the stomach. Fuck this kid. I hope the Pope pulls up with the resurrected zombie corpse of Michael Jackson and they kidnap this fuck and take him to the Czech Republic and show him what happens to naughty boys that cant sing. (Hint, it involves several of Michael's fingers, and a quart of KY.)