My First Book "Voltaire Lives" is almost complete

Voltaire Lives is a mid 17th century historical piece that delves into the erotic world of.............No you faggots! It's about celebrities, and dipshit politicians and half the dishrag whores in Hollywood you read about everyday. Here, for the first time in it's glory is an excerpt:


Larry Craig

Larry “where’s the glory hole?” Craig is an Idaho Senator who was just about the funniest fucking person that I got to research today. After getting an honorable discharge (snicker) from the Army, he went into politics and has constantly been in the news for his extreme interest in young boys. In 1982, he was investigated for being part of a group of Senatorial shitbags that were involved with teenage male interns and cocaine.

His rise to glory came to fruition in 2007 with an arrest at the airport. According to the hilarious police report, the airport in Minnesota had so many calls over guys hooking up in the bathroom, that they assigned plainclothes detectives to make arrests.

The detective was in a stall when Craig walked in and was peeking through the cracks in the front. That alone would have elicited a loud “WHAT THE FUCK, OLD MAN?” from Voltaire, but it just got better. Larry took the stall next to him, blocked the front with his travel bag and taking a cue from the Official Field Manual for Public Sex by Homos, started tapping his foot, which is gay code for “come service the hog.”

Leather Larry then started caressing the divider with his hand and touching the cop’s shoe with his.

At this point, I would have beaten an old man to an inch of his fucking life. Men go through a lot trying to take a deuce without some faggy 62 year old trying to give me a Roman shower.

When the cop showed him a badge, Larry got indignant and claimed that he didn’t know what the fuck was going on.

He knew what the fuck was going on. He got caught.

Bet your ass he will stick with public bathrooms and truck stops like a respectable pervert from here on.

I need a shower after writing this. Just looking at Larry’s picture made me feel live I’ve been locked in a basement with a deviant uncle for a week.